The Essentials of Sex Therapy Explained

Sex therapy is a specialized type of therapy that helps individuals and couples address the physical, psychological, and interpersonal factors that impact their sexual satisfaction. Each client will have their own specific goals for what they hope to achieve through sex therapy, but most people share a common goal of wanting a satisfying and pleasurable sex life.

Common concerns that bring clients to sex therapy include low sexual desire, issues with sexual confidence, sexual behavior that feels out of control (sometimes described as a sex/porn addiction), struggling to orgasm, erectile concerns, distressing sexual thoughts, etc. 

As a sex and relationship specialist, my goal is to help you make the most out of therapy. I want to provide you with valuable information regarding your brain and body that you may not have received earlier in life. It’s never too late to connect with ourselves on a deeper level, and I strive to equip you with the tools to do so.

How does it work?

During our initial appointments together, I will meet with you to discuss your current challenges related to sex. We will discuss your early relational experiences, the histories of the current problem, what you have already tried to manage the concerns, and what you envision for your future. I provide a supportive and educational environment to help you make sense of what is currently unfolding in your life and how we will take our next steps forward. 

In order to achieve the results you are looking for, it’s important that you practice the tools we discuss outside of our weekly sessions. I will provide you with reading and experiential exercises that are tailored to your personal circumstances, and it’s been my experience that clients who actively engage with this work outside of session tend to get the most out of therapy. As is the case with most things in life, you will get out of it what you put into it.

What to know before your initial consultation

It’s important to connect with a therapist that you feel comfortable with and who has experience dealing with the specific issues that you want to address. Most therapists offer an initial consultation to ensure that the therapeutic relationship will be a good fit. Numerous studies have shown that the quality of the relationship between the client and the therapist is the most significant predictor of a successful therapeutic experience. It’s important to have trust in your therapist and be able to communicate effectively with them.

Should I start sex therapy on my own or with my partner?

I am a deeply relational therapist at heart, so I always lean into welcoming clients to involve their partner in our work together. With that being said, I understand that some clients may prefer to attend sex therapy sessions on their own initially, with the option to invite their partner to join later on if they feel comfortable doing so.

If you have concerns related to sexual dysfunction, trauma, body image, or sexual orientation, you may feel more comfortable seeking individual therapy. This type of therapy allows you to explore your concerns in a private setting and determine what is relevant and helpful to bring back into your relationship.

On the other hand, if your sexual concerns are primarily relational, couples therapy may be more beneficial. Common concerns that bring couples to sex therapy include mismatched desire, low desire, out-of-control sexual behavior, or sexual betrayals.

It can be helpful to discuss your specific circumstances with a therapist who can provide guidance on which type of therapy is best suited for you.

Benefits and outcomes of sex therapy

Enhanced communication: Clients will be able to engage in open and honest communication about sexual pleasure, sexual interests, and boundaries. 

Increased self-awareness: Clients will gain a deeper understanding of their own unique erotic blueprint to understand how they can step into sexual desire and feel like their sexual behavior is aligned with their values.

Improved sexual satisfaction: Clients will explore their experience of sexual pleasure and intimacy to deepen their erotic experiences in the individual and relational context.

Sex therapy can be an invaluable resource for individuals and couples who feel they have reached a dead end in their efforts to improve their sex life or align their sexual preferences. Reflect on what aspects of your sexual life could benefit from a better understanding. How might speaking with a sex therapist assist you in addressing those problems and enhancing your sex life? If you are interested in beginning sex therapy in Chicago, please feel free to contact me here.